The Reality of Discouragement

I think everyone in my position must go through this phase of deep discouragement. I don’t know if that thought comforts me or not. But I want to tell the whole truth about this path. To have a “calling” that is so deep and relentless at times and without the financial means or supporters to fulfill this need, I get discouraged and often feel like I’m going to explode with frustration. I watch episodes of Americans unable to have children and finally adopting from a foreign country. They have happy endings. I can’t give up on this vision . People say I’m lucky I know what I want to do with the remaining years of my life.  But I can’t see the forest for the trees. It may come down to saving the money to buy a plane ticket and go from there not knowing where or how long I will stay. My future calls sometimes softly and often painfully. But it would be a shame to go without more boxes of medical supplies, clothes, shoes and medicine. By faith in God has been shaken this year. So, I do the best I can and wait….

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